Da-Maniac-Wolf

Hey there! I’m here for the Critique task of the 15th round of :iconOC-Training: - I tend to be a little wordy with this task, so brace yourself for a wall of text! In this critique, I’ll get into art style, your character IR-DEN herself, and your presentation of IR-DEN’s story over the course of the round. Now, let’s get started!

I’ve got to admit that IR-DEN’s tasks stood out to me since the very beginning. Your use of vibrant colors, anime-esque style, and IR-DEN’s design is altogether eye-catching, more so because you seem to improve with every drawing you posted to the group. Your works for OC-Training showcased a clear sense of artistic ambition and creativity - from IR-DEN’s Profile task being notes on her vessel concept to a multi-page comic for Anger and Fear. You don’t seem afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new things - your anime-esque style lends itself perfectly for exaggeration and fun tricks with color and perspective. You seem to have a nice grasp on several coloring styles (from flats to cell shading to a more painterly style) and it is clear that you know how to utilize digital layers to create aesthetic lighting effects. You’re onto something and I’d love to see where you’ll be taking your art next! Should you want to develop your personal style - it seems to me that you are developing a personal style at least! - I recommend looking a little more into realistic human anatomy. From having taken a deep dive into your gallery, I noticed that you draw a lot of inspiration from anime and manga, which clearly reflects in the way you depict IR-DEN and her story. This can be an asset when drawing comics (which I’ll get into further down below), but I noticed that artists tend to improve faster when they get a grip of more realistic anatomy as well, especially because once anatomy is more or less mastered, it’ll be easier to exaggerate anatomical features (e.g. expressions, boobs, poses, whichever your story needs you to exaggerate!) in a manner that would benefit you in telling your story!

You already seem to experiment a lot with perspectives (and I know precious little about improving on perspective :’ )) so I don’t think I’ll have to give you much pointers on that; you utilize dramatized perspectives well in order to get an emotional reaction across to your readers, which is a fun element of your style that I hope you will keep improving upon! Speaking of dramatization - a tip I always, always share with fellow artists is: varied line art.

Your lines already look nice, but especially in dynamic artworks, line variety can really make a high-energy artwork feel fast-paced and powerful! Personally, in IR-DEN’s Personal Life comic, the moment she hits the baseball is the absolute HIGHLIGHT of this round (so far, I’m still waiting for the final pages of Anger as I am writing this critique), not just because of its color use but also because of the thick, sketchy lines that give the panel a wonderfully wild and uncontrolled vibe. Of course, this is an impactful (pun intended!) moment and the line art reflects it, but even softer moments or standalone artworks could benefit from differences in line weight. Maybe you could experiment with the settings of your drawing tablet a little, should you be able to add pen pressure! If your device doesn’t allow for such a setting and you still want to try experimenting with line variety, I recommend practicing with a dip pen and ink (that’s how I learned eventually, too!) When it comes to colors, I honestly don’t have to tell you anything. You know your colors, know how to add them, how to shade, how to add lighting, how to use them for dramatic effects. I wish I could give you some pointers to improve on that too, as I’d love to see you climb higher and higher to the top, but I have no words but praise in this regard.

As for composition, you also have got a nice grip on that; sometimes, your works feel a little cramped - especially your comics - but I think this has got more to do with trying to tell a complicated story as fast and as quick as possible. As such, a little tip I’d like to give you in order to make things even easier on the eye than they already are, is: let your works breathe. Give your characters some space by enlarging your canvases a little and make sure to keep some space for the placements of text bulbs and various writings/a background, should you want to add one eventually! In short, when it comes to art, keep on doing what you’re doing - don’t be afraid to keep on experimenting! You’ve got a creative drive and a creative story to tell <3 Now, lets get into the story, or more specifically, IR-DEN.

You already know that IR-DEN caught my eye since you enrolled her - she’s difficult to miss, as her design stands out from a crowd (something you also cleverly play with in her story. ;p) The combination of interesting character design, a wonderfully complicated overarching story, and Big Ideas made her tasks fun to follow, as I was never quite sure where you would be taking us with each and every task. Though at times I felt confused by the cryptic hints you dropped in the descriptions of your artworks, this also served to keep me entertained and intrigued; I personally am a big fan of solving riddles, and this was a riddle in the making - you mentioned you were figuring things out on the fly as well, and it definitely showed in your approach to the tasks. Funnily enough, this sense of ‘discovery’ only served to keep me on my toes, and I found myself rereading your tasks every now and then, searching for clues in order to piece together the overarching narrative It’s been long since I got engaged like this, so thank you for the fun! ‘Fun’ seems to be a key word here. IR-DEN’s design is fun: from her lights corresponding to her emotions to her joy with her holograms to her fun-loving and mischievous personality, she is the very definition of the word! She loves a good challenge, learning new things, sneak out, rebel - but only in a fun, harmless way. Or at least, that’s what the artworks (up to Fear and Anger) show. The descriptions tell another story, defined by the terms ‘secret’ and ‘possibly dangerous’. It’s this dichotomy that is intriguing and confusing, and I am yet withholding my judgement on what IR-DEN really is: pure joy, or horribly tragic. I am impressed with the fact that you were able to keep IR-DEN’s personality so consistent over the course of the round. It is clear that she has a clearly defined personality and her behavior and reactions are consistent with what you first showed in her Guess Who task. Her powers also are consistent, and aside from the occasional burst of power/agility, there seems to be nothing off about her: she’s social, fun, curious, mischievous. Most of my personal confusion stemmed from the descriptions underneath each task, and from some of the replies you gave on comments left on the artworks. Through doing so, you put up a shroud of mystery - something about IR-DEN is off, though I still do not know what is exactly. Memory loss? Memory wiping? Mysterious entities in her headspace? Sign me up! I’ve got so many questions! The reason I’m impressed by IR-DEN’s consistency is mostly because you were taking her story into directions you yourself didn’t anticipate. I love how you incorporated elements from your interactions with fellow trainees into IR-DEN’s story, and you really seem to know how to improvise on those elements! The Faraday Hoodie threw a wrench in a possible Tragic Ending you had planned (Alwen is not sorry though), and you had to adapt your story into something else… That is not an easy thing to do, and I applaud you on your ambition.

To me, as some rando in the audience, it seemed that you were writing your story as it came to you, with a general sense of direction but with trouble expressing it. OC-T is a fun way of developing or showing an OC, but it does fall short on showcasing complicated narratives, like the one you seem to be working with. You had to cram a whole lot of story in a short amount of time - and this might have been the leading cause for some confusion. You already know how to drop hints, but in order to stave off general confusion amongst your audience, I recommend answering some questions halfway through the presentation of the story. E.g., namedropping Vivi in the description of the GW (or mentioning that Vivi was the voice in IR-DEN’s head in GW in the description of the Personal Life comic), or hinting at Tulip(? I AM SO CURIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA) by name earlier on might give your audience a sense of ‘Aha-Erlebnis’ (“Hey! I’ve seen that before!”), which can be extremely satisfying to the attentive reader/watcher! Your Fear/Anger comic is incredibly interesting in the regard that it feels like it should be answering so many questions, but seems to generate even more instead. 55? Tulip? Vivi shooting at IR-DEN? There’s so much going on! >(I love the little call-back to IR-DEN glitching, btw) I hope to get answers by the end of it. Who are all these characters, what happened to them, and how is IR-DEN involved in all this? Should those questions not get answered, that is perfectly alright too. In the end, questions serve to hook an audience, keep them engaged, keep them curious or suspicious. But keep questions up for too long without any progression (or an unsatisfying element of randomness), readers will lose attention. Readers need to be rewarded a little, with breadcrumbs of the story. >: ) Alright. Enough ranting. Please let me know if you’ve got any questions or want me to clarify something (or elaborate further!) I hope this is helpful to you more than anything - IR-DEN’s story is a diamond in the rough, it merely needs some polishing in time.